its a complex world we live in.

i think i have a bit of a peter pan complex.
i used to want to grow up fast, like all kids do.
but now i see that growing up means that you no longer have a foolproof excuse to make mistakes, to throw caution into the air and do what you want to do, not what you should do.
i have small panic attacks every now and then when these girls cheerfully call me "unnie!"
i haven't done anything

i have both a superiority and a inferiority complex.
when i see the ones around me i feel like i'm better, except i know i have nothing to me.

whatever happens to the average people, those people who are mediocore instead of excellent?
all my life i've been surrounded by people who are great in everything they do. to me, failing was never a possibility. it never occured in my world. without knowing it, i built up this high wall of expectation for myself.
but thats not my personality. i am not meant to excel. perhaps i don't have the brains, perhaps i don't have the patience or the perseverence. and maybe i don't have the confidence, but i don't really want to excel.

i think.
i'm perfectly happy being average.

i mean, most people are.